Metamorphosis

Emotions are a very tricky thing. Sometimes it seems like everything in life is fueled by emotion and feeling instead of logic and rationality. I can say that for a long time in my life I based my decisions and actions based on emotion or impulse versus being rational or logical. It has only been through the course of reading, studying, taking classes, meditating, yoga and the wisdom of intuitive teachers that I have come to learn how to recognize different feelings and emotions that I typically would navigate my life with instead of recognizing and processing with logic in a healthy manner.

Certain emotions are easy to recognize and more through or past, and some are not, which can lead to unresolved anger, depression, self doubt, insecurities, irrational (or rational) fears, anxiety, trust issues, and several other challenges that most of us face regularly and either bypass, or just deal with because either A) we have been dealing with it for so long that we view it as normal, or B) we don’t deal with it at all and it resurfaces or arises in other ways in our lives, such as addiction, participating in unhealthy friendships or relationships, self harm (which can take on many forms), and several other ways that we may or may not recognize.

I thought of all of this on my drive to work this morning as I started to feel a sense of dread in the pit of my stomach. I tried to bypass it and ignore it, thinking to myself it was just because I wasn’t fully awake or caffeinated yet. As I kept driving and simultaneously still feeling this sense of dread, I asked myself where this feeling was coming from. Why was I randomly feeling an intense sense of dread at 5:40 in the morning? I then realized it was because of uncertainty. Just a random sense of dread because of the uncertainty of my day. This can arise often and take on many forms. It can happen just as easily as when something happens in your day that you don’t expect or anticipate, aren’t prepared for, or that you just do not like! Any type of disturbance in how “we think” our day should go can cause us to feel uneasy, unhappy, or anxious.

So what do we do when these things occur? Although it isn’t easy, we MUST practice self-awareness and develop a mindfulness practice that not only works for us, but one that is effective in helping being able to recognize when these feelings/disturbances happen, and then using that awareness to redirect those emotions/disturbances or eliminate them completely.

Mindfulness practices have been scientifically proven to reduce stress, anxiety, depression, blood pressure, and to help improve quality of sleep. A solid mindfulness practice also can help with building strong coping mechanisms to help with addiction, as well as irritability. Practicing mindfulness will not completely eliminate your stressors, feelings, or your responses, but it will drastically help and improve how you feel about your stressors, feelings and how you respond. As one of the influential mindfulness and meditation teachers, Jon Kabat-Zinn says: “You can’t stop the waves, but you can learn to surf.” Below are a few simple ways to start a mindfulness practice, wherever you are, whenever you want.

1) The first thing to do is to become aware of the present moment: where you are, what is happening in your body( how are you breathing, what is your body temperature like, etc.), and to allow yourself not to leave the moment. Something that I started practicing when I first started driving after I got out of prison and was experiencing a high level of anxiety was to tell myself “I am mindful, I am present.” Sometimes we have a hard time slowing down. It is easy to just have the attitude of “just pushing through” like we tend to do with most things in our lives, but there comes a time when we need to learn how to be present in the moment. In the NOW, and what is happening right here, in this very moment in our lives.

2) The second thing to do is to focus on the breath. On a daily basis, we rarely use all of our lung capacity. Especially when we are in stressful situations or are experiencing anxiety, our breath can become shallow or rapid in nature. So it is very important to remember that we can always come back to the breath, focusing on inhaling and exhaling as a way to calm down, and bring ourselves back to the present moment. A technique that I learned years ago and still practice to this day when I am in a stressful for anxious situation is Box Breathing: Inhaling and counting to 4, then exhaling and counting to 4, repeatedly until I have calmed down and recentered myself. This technique can be used anywhere and anytime.

3) The next step is probably the hardest for us to do in this day and age. It is the practice of self acceptance. How do you talk to yourself or treat yourself in your mind versus how you talk to loved ones or friends? How would you feel if you talked to a loved one the way we sometimes talk to ourselves in our minds or treat ourselves? Accepting the fact that you deserve love, acceptance, and respect are important for growth not only in your personal life, but in your other relationships as well. Make it a point to daily practice an act of love and compassion towards yourself, whether this includes positive affirmations, taking time to yourself to be still (this could include journaling, meditating, taking a nice long bath, taking a walk, or just sitting and breathing). Practicing one or all of these things can be beneficial in self care and personal growth.

I write these things not because I am an expert of any kind or because I have all of the answers to life, but because these are things that have worked for me in times of personal struggle and I want to share that with others. There is beauty in the shared experience of personal struggle as well as growth. I would like to encourage you today to pause and breathe and take a moment for yourself and to experience the beauty of life that we often overlook when we are not present.